Cat and Bear investigate: FACEBOOK

Have you ever lived beside really noisy neighbours? (stick with me, i'm going somewhere with this)

In the daytime they don't seem to be bad people; they are courteous enough to say hello when you pass them in the street, all of their children are polite and whilst you may have never invited each other into your respective houses there is a sense of mutual respect solid enough to warrant the lending of a cup of sugar in a time of need.

BUT when the earth rolls about 'pon its axis and nighttime comes to greet us a hideous change takes place within the well-meaning and mild-mannered household next door. despite their cordial public nature they suddenly transform into loud shouty bastards with souls as black as ice on asphalt, participating in insane screaming matches and the throwing of crockery. the pressure of staying civil throughout the day is obviously too much for this poor family, and so, to stay sane they must broadcast all of their most shocking and bizarre secrets, thoughts and prejudices at the very top of their voices to half of the street. 

the first time this happens you resolve to confront someone ... anyone from the family about their shocking behaviour, walking back from the newsagents you bump into the mother of the brood almost by accident, she is a small woman, barely five foot tall, and scrawny. you confront her, not rudely (for you have prepared for the possibility of marriage breakdown or mental illness), asking why she was so loud last night. she stares at you with empty blue eyes and swears she knows not of what you speak, you press further for answers but are met only with claims of ignorance and innocence but she apologises nonetheless and assures you that whatever you heard will not be heard again. shaken and with a look of shame she scuttles off down the street not looking back, you feel like a bad person but are glad that you have had an answer (of sorts) and have resolved the situation.

that night she screams at her husband and children with such intensity as to shake books loose from the nearest shelf and to make the vase on the table vibrate sonorously like a tuning fork...

have you ever lived beside people like this?

to me this is exactly what facebook is like.

no lie, alot of the people in my friends list aren't really friends at all. in fact, my 'friends' break down into something like this:

as you can see the majority of my friends are utter strangers that i know only by name. facebook is a wonderful thing, in its original context it takes advantage of the most beautiful things about the internet; its ability to bring people together. by its very design facebook is a visually sterile tool for networking. BUT for some reason people post and say things that are clearly meant for a small amount number of very close friends. when it boils own to it my real gripe with facebook is people putting such personal things on facebook that i feel like a voyeur when my eyes slip over it on my newsfeed. Whatever it is, I really really don't want to know, so please for the sake of all mankind, think before you post. 

because . . . 

i don't care about your views on social reform and the credit crunch.

i don't want to know i don't want to know if you just got dumped. 

i don't want to know if you think your dangerously close to suicide

i don't need to know if your pregnant and scared.

so yeah, to reiterate, THINK BEFORE YOU POST.

thank you and goodnight.

yours,

BEAR

for those who are still at a loss as to what Facebook is really for, allow XKCD to educate you. oh, and i am planning a post on how to retaliate against loud neighbours that shall be posted very soon.