Cat and Bear investigate: INSTANT KARMA!

I guess it's time to lower the tone around here. 

'bout time too, Cat was making it all Cerebral and stuff, with poems and junk...

I especially love the way the ambushers whooping laugh of victory is cut short.

YOURS,

BEAR

Cat and Bear investigate: IMPRESSIVE INTERNET SELF-HOSPITALIZATION no.3!!!

OH MY GOD! I HAVE A NEW FAVOURITE VIDEO!

Ok this one starts off weird, like really weird, gets weirder and then finishes off ... well, i'll let you see for your self. and whilst i sincerely hope this is all for real, if it's not, then this video is a work of utter artistic genius.

and Yes, the 'self-hospitalization' aspect is a little circuitous, but i feel as though this video deserves the title because A) he shouldn't have trained his Dog to lick his crotch whilst naked and B) he shouldn't have been hanging half way out of the window whilst naked. none of this would have happened had he had pants on.

all bad things are better when you've got pants on.

Yours,

BEAR

BTW, this vid was spotted over at 'Why That's Delightful' a delightful site written by none other than the living legend that is Graham Linehan.

Cat and Bear investigate: ALTERNATIVE MEANS OF WARFARE

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

War is a terrible, terrible thing. The wreath of peace is all too often obscured sweeping symbolism of destruction. The present and the past is littered by obscure and meaningless conflict. Sons, Brothers and Fathers marching off to get blown into little meaty chunks. The pain. The hurt. Iain Banks rightly said

"In all the human societies we have ever reviewed, in every age and in every state, there has seldom if ever been a shortage of eager young males prepared to kill and die to preserve the security, comfort and prejudices of their elders,"

So, if War is a defining characteristic of humanity and diplomacy is, well, boring (and much harder to make good thrillers out of) then let us explore differing methods conflict resolution. Here is a list of what i believe to be suitable alternatives:

DANCE-OFFS:

WHY???? Because A) look at how much fun they're all having, and B) the stakes aren't that high, they're all laughing sure but there is a definite edge of competition and C) I'd much rather lose a dance battle and be the butt of gentle jokes and mockery than lose at war and lose my legs. i like my legs.

CATFIGHTS:

seriously though, I'm sure you've all seen the crazy nationalism that goes hand in hand with competitions like the Miss World Beauty Pageant. if we could somehow start some dialogue with politicians and the pageant organizers to discuss ways to stage physical fights between the respective winners of each country to settle disputes between countries then I'm sure it would dramatically lower the number of worldwide deaths from conflict.

ASSAULT COURSES:

Now whilst the Dance Offs and Cat Fights are athletic (and sexy...) there's a certain lack of militarism, they are definitely not activities lots of people could participate in. Comedic assault courses however are mass activities. so you could definitely justify keeping the army.

POLITICIAN FIGHTS:

Or you could scrap the army altogether (saving billions on national defense) and just have the politicians themselves fight over their meaningless quotidian trivialities - this fight was over plans to build a road. here are some of Mexico's finest battering each other over a virtual nothing. if only all politicians were so dedicated to their jobs.

Yours, 

BEAR

Also, Iain Banks is a badman author, you should read all of his books, also so is Cordwainer Smith . . . and Olaf Stapledon. Geniuses, one and all. Wiki their names and buy their books.

Cat and Bear investigate: GREAT GORILLAZ DOCUMENTARY STREAMING FREE NOW

If your anything like me you have good taste in music. if you have good taste in music odds are you own a CD by Gorillaz. The first CD i ever bought was by Gorillaz, Ah memories. 

There's a fantastic new documentary called 'Bananaz' that follows Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett around from the beginning through the peaks and troughs, from the first concept sketches to the sell out shows in Harlem's Apollo Theatre. to the credit of all involved it achieves everything a good documentary should, showcasing the creative genius and skewed humour of Hewlett and Albarn. best of all the documentary makes you feel as though you, the viewer, has achieved something, been part of it all.

I couldn't recommend it more.

even if you don't like Gorillaz (or good music, I'm looking at you Cat) It's great just to hear their charming, chirpy little cockney accents slagging off all in vicinity. something for everyone.

CHECK IT OUT NOW BEFORE IT GETS TAKEN DOWN

Yours,

BEAR

Cat and Bear investigate: IMPRESSIVE INTERNET SELF-HOSPITALIZATION

This video is the best EVER. No matter what i say, between now and eternity THIS video will hold the number one spot in my heart. I will never love another video as i have loved this one. It is a perfect demonstration of mans hubris. I love this video so much that in the far, far future when all the humans and bears and cats are gone and there is nothing on earth save endless desert and rubbish tip, i want this video to be sent into space so that all other races of intelligent beings may learn from the mistakes of Earth.

Yours,

BEAR

also, where and when were those pants EVER fashionably acceptable?